Tuesday, February 14, 2006

V-Day

Last night, Wolfboy adopted four children.

He did it on National TV, too, making one of those Surprise-Surprise! Grand Gestures on a talk show hosted by Stockard Channing.

Joey (Matt LeBlanc), another guest on the show, applauded Wolfboy for his syrupy-sentimental act, and the whole audience cheered and wept in an impressive display of emotion.

As you can imagine, I was mighty peeved.

First, I didn’t specially want kids that day. Second, I didn’t like the looks of these particular children. They had the bodies of babies, but huge heads with Evil grins, but Wolfboy doesn’t notice Evil like I do.

Since we had no available bedroom, Wolfboy stuck all four kids in the bathroom, which distressed me considerably, since I couldn’t brush my teeth that night or take a shower the next morning. When I cracked open the door out of curiosity, I was met by four sets of glaring, gaping eyes, and that was more than I could bear.

I asked Wolfboy to return the children, but he claimed they were nonrefundable, and when I dialed my parents for a temporary place to stay, an expressionless man with a generic gray face, lifted the phone away.

So I ran, as one does in dreams. I ran through a dim, desolate tunnel with Generic-Man chasing after me with a long, pointy needle.

It’ll ruin the publicity stunt if you abandon the children – a whisper fell into my ear - Better to die accidentally. Tragedy is good for ratings.

I woke.

Wolfboy, rising from the bed, smiled too innocently at me: “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

I seethed.

Such is the power of dreams.

14 repartee:

Anonymous Anonymous wrote...

WOW! That is a strange dream!

Hope wolfboy didn't take offense for your seething at him the morning! LOL if wolfboy did I'm sure you will be sending Vday apologizing! OUCH!

2/14/2006 12:39 PM  
Blogger frankengirl wrote...

Yes, freaky dream! It was so fresh this morning I wrote it right out, but upon reflection, I'm thinking it might have been best to keep this one to myself! ;)

Happy V-Day to You!

2/14/2006 2:23 PM  
Anonymous willow wrote...

All you need is the cheese guy!

2/14/2006 10:14 PM  
Blogger Golgotha_Tramp wrote...

Okay, I'm mighty freaked out by your dream! If I have spin off dreams about it tonight I will blame you. Funny though, last night I was pregnant in my dream. spring has truly sprung obviously.

2/15/2006 3:43 AM  
Blogger The Poodle's Friend wrote...

Ha! The cheese guy!
I always dream that I'm late for school. I wonder why.

2/15/2006 5:34 AM  
Blogger frankengirl wrote...

Willow – Please send Buffy instead, okay? Maybe she can kick some Generic-Butt for me!

Golgotha - lol! Spring in the (night) air? Hmmm, I think it was V-Day that got to me: whenever boys made “grand gestures” on V-Day, I ducked for cover. I just wanted to be free! (My heart was already taken by Gilbert Blythe and Edward Rochester.) Sleep tight tonight... No spin-offs allowed! This is a copyrighted dream - ;)

TPF – Ah, you remember Cheese Guy, too, hehe! I think many of us have recurring and seemingly “mundane” dreams like yours (being late or missing the bus or losing something) that may show how stressy life can be on a daily basis, since we’re forced into so many exacting and arbitrary schedules. :) But I really don’t analyze dreams very deeply (particularly the creepy ones - yikes!)

2/15/2006 9:31 AM  
Blogger Panacea wrote...

Well, at least it wasn't a Harry Potter dream. Two days ago I dreamt that Harry, Draco and Hermione were living in my old apartment in India and somebody was trying to kill them.

Talk about weird dreams that creep you out... ;)

2/15/2006 11:03 AM  
Blogger frankengirl wrote...

Panacea - Ha! Fictional characters can be such squatters!

But Harry Potter, beware...if he enters my dream, I may turn him into Harriet - ;)

2/15/2006 11:38 AM  
Blogger Reese wrote...

Frankengirl, you're a really great writer.

2/15/2006 3:42 PM  
Blogger frankengirl wrote...

reese - thank you - :)

2/15/2006 6:19 PM  
Blogger mysticgypsy wrote...

Hi Frankengirl!
I know I can depend on you to "copyright dreams" LOL!
The Ned and Gil ones you'll have to share though ;)

I agree with Reese! I do like reading your posts! They are a delight to read :)

2/15/2006 7:31 PM  
Blogger actonbell wrote...

Wow, even your dreams are creative. Good post! I also enjoyed your previous one very much,too. Actually, I've burned a couple diaries: looked back on them, thought them embarrassing and boring, and lit'em up! At the same time, I do wish I could read diaries written by my grandmother...

2/15/2006 7:46 PM  
Blogger frankengirl wrote...

MysticGypsy!!! :D Ned and Gil! Ah, you are on such familiar terms with them! I confess I’m still growing accustomed to calling Rochester "Edward" never mind Ned or Neddy (or what about Ed or Ward, hehe!). I know I went through a Rochy phase but that reminded me too much of Rocky, which conjured up the wrong image entirely! I’m always looking for the questions and reflections posed on your blog. Even when I have no answers for you, the questions alone inspire me :)

2/15/2006 7:49 PM  
Blogger frankengirl wrote...

actonbell – Woohoo! At last, we have a fiery woman among us! There's a sweet freedom in knowing we can hold onto our words or not – they belong to us, start & finish.

Yes, I agree, for me peeking into another's past diary would be more tempting that reaching again for my own. (Clearly, I need to spice up my diary!) :)

2/15/2006 8:14 PM  

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